Mother’s grief turns into cause
Foundation hosts vigil, concert for suicide survivors
Article published Sep 13, 2006
Trevis R. Badeaux
tbadeaux@theadvertiser.com
"I told my husband if anything happened to Jacob, just put me in the coffin with him. I can’t live without my baby.”
Michelle Crouch lived her ultimate nightmare on Dec. 17, 2005. She buried her only son, Jacob Crouch, the same day he was scheduled to graduate with a bachelor’s degree in business from UL. Jacob died days earlier of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 24.
Nearly a year later, Michelle Crouch, her husband, Kenny, and other family and friends are hard at work to establish the Jacob Crouch Foundation to help prevent the tragedy that forever changed their lives from affecting others in Acadiana.
Those involved will host a candlelight vigil at 7 p.m. tonight in the River Ranch Town Square off Camellia Boulevard. Guest speakers include the Rev. Lloyd Benoit, associate pastor at the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist, and the Rev. Steve Horn, pastor of First Baptist Church.
"It’s not about the foundation,” Michelle said. "It’s about the survivors of suicide, the family and friends who want to come out and honor their loved ones. Hopefully, some healing will happen.”
The vigil is part of National Suicide Prevention Week, Sept. 10-16, activities in Lafayette that conclude with a special concert Friday at Nite Town, 524 Jefferson St. The show, set to begin at 10 p.m., features Bag-O-Donuts, with proceeds benefiting The Jacob Crouch Foundation.
Football, friends and fraternity
Jacob played offensive tackle for St. Thomas More Catholic High School and was voted team captain by his fellow players before he graduated in 1999.
He earned a TOPS scholarship to UL, moved out of the family home and began summer practice with the Ragin’ Cajuns, for whom he was expected to start as a center in the fall of that year.
A torn ligament in training camp stalled Jacob’s debut. Surgery and several months of rehab followed, during which Jacob decided to forgo football and enter Kappa Alpha fraternity. He later served as a pledge trainer and as vice president and, eventually, president of the interfraternity council.
At 6-feet 2-inches and nearly 300 pounds, Jacob was a commanding presence. He most enjoyed cooking, hanging out with friends, watching the History and Discovery channels and eating his favorite meal — rice and gravy.
"Jacob was the kind of guy who walked in a room and owned it,” Michelle said. "He had a quick wit, and he was soft-hearted. That may have been his ultimate downfall. He took care of other people, but he never took care of himself.”
Jacob began having anxiety attacks caused by the pressures of being in the fraternity, college and other endeavors, Michelle said. So, his mother and stepfather helped Jacob get into counseling. It helped, but the anxiety attacks persisted.
Fate, faith
Michelle Crouch doesn’t remember the last time she saw her only son alive.
On Dec. 14, she called the home Jacob shared behind Lafayette High School with three friends around 4 p.m. and left a message. Later that evening, while eating out at Bonefish Grill for the first time with friends, Kenny and Michelle received a call. It was about 7 p.m.
A friend was on the other end of the cell phone saying something happened to Jacob and that he was on his way to restaurant to pick up Kenny and Michelle. Moments later, Michelle climbed into the back seat of a pickup truck headed for Jacob’s home.
"I knew something happened. I screamed, ‘Tell me what happened to Jacob.’ I just knew he was dead at that point,” Michelle said. "We drove up to his house. I was sitting on the floor of the truck at that point. I saw the blue lights flashing, three detectives standing in the driveway and several of Jacob’s friends standing under the carport.
"I knew he was dead,” she said. "I just wanted to hold him one more time. I needed to see my baby one last time.”
A detective stopped Michelle from entering the home. Inside, Jacob lay where he was discovered after he shot himself with a roommate’s gun.
Michelle and Kenny returned to their home on Marilyn Street. Family and friends followed, staying with the couple until late in the evening. Michelle walked out in the front yard at one point to speak to Jacob’s friends gathered there.
"I was worried about his friends. They loved him so much,” she said. "I said I was so mad at Jacob, I could shoot him. I remember that clear as if it just happened.”
Michelle refused sedatives to help her sleep that night. Instead, she lay in bed praying the rosary over and again until a peace settled over her and she was finally able to fall asleep.
"As a parent, you’re supposed to be there to support and love your child, fix things for them. I couldn’t fix this.”
The next day, Michelle picked out a coffin for her son and made the funeral arrangements. The funeral, she said, was a celebration of Jacob’s life.
"I wasn’t thinking of myself,” said Michelle, who often stood by the casket to run her fingers through Jacob’s hair, feeling the stitches where a mortician closed the exit wound on his scalp with each stroke.
"It’s funny how you take faith for granted until something like this happens,” she said. "It’s only through the grace of God I have been able to accept this and move on.”
Framing the foundation
Family and friends founded the organization in May after hosting Crouch Stock at the intersection of Bertrand and Dulles drives. The concert in Jacob’s honor featured True Man Posse, the Richard Review and other local bands. More than 1,000 attended the three-day event and donated more than $30,000.
"We weren’t out there to raise money. We were just hosting a party in Jacob’s honor,” said Garett Gauthier, foundation board member. "We decided to use the money to start an organization dedicated to suicide prevention.”
Injacobsmemory.org, the foundation’s official Web site, features statistics, suicide warning signs, prevention information and other useful information.
"Years ago, you couldn’t talk about sexual abuse in mixed company. Now, it’s out of the closet," Michelle said. "Victims can get help from several agencies. We hope to do the same for suicide. It’s time.”
Michelle, family members and friends involved in the foundation were invited to attend a special luncheon in Washington on Sept. 7 that included representatives from suicide prevention foundations and agencies from across the nation.
The event was hosted by The Jed Foundation, a New York-based nonprofit agency dedicated to reducing suicide rates on college campuses. Guest speakers included U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., who is attempting to pass federal legislation that would encourage insurance companies to fund counseling and other suicide prevention methods.
"We don’t want to reinvent the wheel," Michelle said. "We went to learn from them."
While there, the group also met with U.S. Rep. Bobby Jindal, R-Metairie, U.S. Rep. Charles Boustany, R-Lafayette, and other delegates from Louisiana to introduce the Jacob Crouch Foundation and garner future grant funding support.
"Suicide is a big killer in our society," Gauthier said. "The more we talk about it, the more we expose the statistics, maybe the next story won’t end in tragedy."